Happiness Doesn't Exist In My World

hullochristine: ……….

I like being an asshole to Adrian.  He deserves it most of the time, if you ask me (or Lina… or Gisela… or Miranda…)

Adrian’s an okay friend.  Heck, he’s like a younger brother sometimes.  We spill our secrets to each other, and give advices etc.  We get along, just like that.

However, we are both very competitive, when it comes to all things academic.  Consequently, we strive to do better than the other in all of our classes.  Not since sophomore year did he start doing this.  Whatever triggered his hate for me and my grades, GPA, and rank, I don’t know.

Adrian likes to point out my mistakes and has not-so-subtle way of doing so.  I hate that.  Don’t get me wrong.  I find it more than okay, when people correct me, but there’s just something about Adrian correcting me that makes me feel dumb as fuck.  Who knows?  Maybe it’s just jealousy.  Maybe I’m jealous of him.  Or maybe I feel threatened whenever he finds my mistake.  Maybe I feel as if he’s a threat to me and the things I hope to achieve in high school (i.e. becoming Valedictorian).  Maybe he feels the same way.  I’m a threat to the things he hopes to attain.

EDITS:

1. What I wrote up there?  That’s the best depiction of why I hate my nerdy self, most of the time.  I get too obsessed with grades and GPA blah blah blah.  I get very competitive, thus turning me into a heartless bitch to those I contend against academically.  It’s the Asian in me that’s causing this to happen :P

2.  By the way, I didn’t click the Comment button.

November 30, 2009